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Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law: difficult communication

Between you, there is inevitably misunderstanding, it is a question of generation. In his day, we let babies cry, we put them on their stomachs, we fed them at fixed times. Other times, other practices… Do not get involved in controversy, bring in the advice of a specialist. Tell him: “My pediatrician advised me to…”. Family traditions and customs can also oppose you: Madame Durand affirms that none of the little Durands has ever needed a pacifier … Take it with humor: your little Durand is tempting you to new experiences, it is a pioneer!

Between you, above all, there is a man, her son, who no longer lives with her but with you. Even if she is not the castrating mother hen type, there is still a background of jealousy in her. Thus, it is stronger than her, she is disappointed: she would have preferred you more to her taste, she would have wanted perfection for her son.

On your side. You wonder how the love of your life can be so indulgent with her, not seeing her flaws, her meanness, and “passing” so much to her, while with you he can be much more uncompromising.

However, you are two women, two mothers, this bond can bring you closer. If communication is not working, try meeting her alone for a lunch where you can talk between women and find, perhaps, common points.

Establish rules of mutual respect

Work out rules with your partner. It would be a shame if mother-in-law became a subject of dispute between you. Remember she is his mother. Talk about it before a crisis strikes.

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Ära saada ülekoormatud. Respect your family privacy: do not accept that she arrives unexpectedly or that she invites herself to dinner, and especially not via her son’s cell phone. For your part, accept a dinner at her place from time to time (not necessarily every Sunday!) And when you are there, be cooperative. Show her that she’s the chef in her house and compliment her.

On --muud käsi, do not accept that she criticizes the way you act in front of children. It must be very clear: if she has something to say, it must in no case be in their presence.

Give her her place as a granny

She is your child’s grandmother, she represents her roots, it is important to keep a good relationship with her. It’s handy to be able to count on his help from time to time, think about it, it will help you put up with his little flaws.

Give her your baby from time to time. If she has to keep it, let her know her habits, but don’t give her a bunch of recommendations, trust her. Don’t supervise her. She can do differently than you without traumatizing your child.

Listen to his advice, even if you judge them of another age, or not at all adapted: you do not have to follow them. Do not disqualify her, she will hold a stubborn grudge against you. She wants to do well and maybe some of her ideas will be welcome.

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