Töö: õppige lõpuks ära ütlema!

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Workload: making the right decision

You are always the first to arrive, and the last to come. You take charge of files that others do not have time to complete, you train all the trainees, and you even come on weekends during rush periods.

Result: you are exhausted nervously and physically. Let’s not even talk about your personal life, which is also taking a hell of a beating. You know very well that you will not be able to operate like this for a long time without breaking down. You cannot continue to sacrifice your health, your marriage, your family, or all three. It’s up to you to make the right decision. That oflearn to say no. Or rather, learn to say yes under certain conditions!

Do you love your job? One more reason not to let yourself be swallowed up. First, list the daily tasks that concern you. Are they in line with those for which you were hired?

Review your job description, or your contract, try to visualize the margin you have. This will help you put things into perspective. « Regarding the tasks assigned by your boss, try to identify what is normal collaboration or abuse of power. If the limits seem exceeded, you can contact your union for information. You have your own subjective helpfulness slider based on your availability which is not the same as that of the neighbor », Advises Karine Thomine-Desmazures. It’s up to you to know when this slider is exceeded. Trust yourself.

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Adopt the technique of rambling. You said no, it’s no. Whichever way you are asked to do it. Always respond courteously, turn things the way you want, but stick to your positions. Do not enter the vicious circle of justifications. You would thus show the other that you are not really convinced of the merits of your refusal and he would only have to rush into the loophole. Even if you feel guilty, take it upon yourself not to show it. You may say that you are sorry, but be calm and seemingly confident. Specify that you have other prioritys, which are just as important as those of your interlocutor. Your refusal to do too much, to work like crazy to meet crazy deadlines is legitimate. Once you are convinced of it, you will have no trouble convincing others, and without even alienating them!

Work: understand what drives us to always accept everything

What drives you to always accept everything? This is the question you must ask yourself. You don’t want to end up in the crosshairs of your management if you refuse. You have kids, and you feel like you have to do twice as much so as not to be suspected of putting them before your job. You have the feeling that you still have everything to prove, you are a perfectionist, anxious. You don’t want to delegate anything, lest the job get done the way you want it to. Why can’t you let go of anything except your peace of mind? Most of the time it isa hidden guilt that your boss takes advantage of, more or less unconsciously. Once you have identified the fears that condition your reflexes, it is time to act on them.

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How can you restore the balance to your advantage? You should proceed with the method and the organization that you put into everything. What are the specific situations where you could have handled extra work differently without putting yourself in danger? ” When a colleague asks you to help him or her, you can employ what is called in IT, the escalation procedure. », Specifies Karine Thomine-Desmazures. Analyze the situation, the need according to the person who asks for it.

It is about learning to say yes under certain conditions. Three situations can arise: your employee does not have time to do, does not know how to do or does not want to do. In the latter case, you can say no right away! If it’s an emergency, you can help out depending on your availability. If it’s a skill deficiency, and depending on your status, you can tell the person to go to a senior. Otherwise, explain the method and let the person do it first. Finally, you can do with the person, but manage well and delimit this help in time. If the situation repeats itself, it is advisable to take stock and rethink the situation.

Workload: talk about it with your boss and colleagues

If you “change your personality” overnight without warning, your boss may take it as a personal attack. Instead, make an appointment to discuss the problem. Do things by email to keep track, you never know. Prepare for this interview carefully. Introduce yourself with constructed arguments, give examples, and calmly explain why it doesn’t work for you anymore. As you are a person of good will, do not hesitate to suggest alternative solutions and suggest new ways of working.

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Why not improve the organization of the team, for example? Do you have any good ideas to make the service easier to operate without taking care of everything? Share them! Often a boss asks just that. You set your limits on one side (and as with children, setting limits is structuring for everyone!) And bring added value on the other.

As we told you, you are not going to be able to brutally “break” your pattern without making your colleagues or your boss react, accustomed to your flexibility (yes!) And your providential availability. We don’t tell you to send an internal memo to announce your good resolutions, but to make a little effort in diplomacy and communication.

Expect amazement first, then resistance! People are not going to understand that you stop doing the work for them. Everyone will have to question themselves. Your approach risks exposing the weaknesses of the service, which you correct at your level. Which will force you to agree to modify your personal image. You are not perfect, you are not here to save the world. You will have to deal with your misplaced pride. This is the price to pay for a little more peace of mind in the long run.

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