Psühho: enneagramm, tööriist oma lapse paremaks mõistmiseks

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Your child can’t stand making mistakes? Or does he always need to move? Unless he spends his time helping others? For understand why children behave and help them find a balance, Valérie Fobe Coruzzi, coach-therapist and author of a practical guide on the enneagram (1), recommends this tool to parents. Interview. 

Parents: Can you define the enneagram for us?

See on personal development tool very old revived in the 70s. It allows the study of our behavioral choices according to the situations. It describes nine different profiles. Each person according to his history, his perception of reality, his fears, his education, develops a personality, puts on a “costume” to behave in the way he believes to be the one we expect. him. The enneagram offers the possibility to identify these mechanisms defense and the behaviors that result from it, and to come as close as possible to one’s true “being”. 

Why is this an effective tool for parents? 

All parents unconsciously project onto their children their own reality (fears, sorrows, disappointments…). And add to them, always unconsciously, to repair their faults. The enneagram can then help free the child of these injunctions, to welcome him as close as possible to what he is, without burdening him with our shortcomings. Indeed, the child is a being in motion, his personality can evolve, nothing is “decided”. In each situation, a parent can help their child to rectify their behavior in order to feel better. 

What, in summary, are the nine types of child profiles that you describe in the book?

Here are the nine personality profiles that can be deciphered by the enneagram:

Topic Veel teemast:  Judo lastele
  • The first always wants to be irreproachable. At the slightest mistake, he is afraid of being unloved.
  • The second still needs whether to make it worthwhile, he fears being abandoned.
  • Kolmas always stands out for his actions, he does not know how to exist otherwise.
  • The fourth is attached to its singularity, it thirsts for recognition.
  • The fifth wants understand everything about the world that surrounds him because he cannot understand himself.
  • The sixth profile fears betrayal more than anything, he feels emotional insecurity.
  • Seitsmes seeks to have fun endlessly to escape any idea of ​​suffering.
  • The eighth, in search of power, tries in vain to protect itself from its fragility.
  • The ninth desires avoid conflict at all costs and forgets his own needs. 

How to use the enneagram on a daily basis?

By identifying in his child behaviors that deprive him of flourishing and helping him out. Of course, a child does not exactly match a profile. Depending on the ages and situations, parents can identify behaviors described in the book through the nine profiles and understand why. They can then, by observing their child well, help him to behave in a more “authentic”, natural way. For example, a girl who is very perfectionist, fails to have fun in a birthday party, she recoils, does not want to get dirty. It’s up to his parents open the field to change posture by explaining to her that she can have fun, let go, and also by showing her by example! Another case: a little boy loses a tennis match. Instead of reinforcing him in the idea that he will “win the next one”, the parent can make him understand that the important thing is the way he played, his person, and that he is awesome, whatever. his sports results! 

Intervjuu tegi Katrin Acou-Bouaziz 

(1) “Understanding my child better thanks to the enneagram”, Valérie Fobe Coruzzi and Stéphanie Honoré, Editions Leduc.s., March 2018, 17 euros. 

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